Holy Spirit

My brain is like a popcorn popper.  I have thoughts and ideas popping up here and there and all over the place.  I rarely finish one thought without another one popping up.  People say that this is a symptom of a creative mind.  I don't know about that.  Maybe my brain is just super full (but I've always been this way to a certain extent - lol) or maybe it's due to my very short attention span or my self-diagnosed ADD.  Whatever it is, it annoys me.  I can be thinking about how I want to plan a really fun math lesson and in the span of five minutes, I will have at least 20 random thoughts that stemmed from that original thought of the math lesson that take me in a COMPLETELY different direction and I will be thinking of why we need to buy a new handheld vacuum cleaner!  What does a math lesson have to do with needing a vacuum cleaner except that the money needed for the vacuum cleaner doesn't add up to the cost of the said vacuum cleaner... UGH!  Here I go again!  Anyway, you see the point... I think.

Because of my popcorn popper of a brain, I sometimes find praying to be difficult.  I sit down to talk with God and my prayers, just like my thoughts, are just popping up here and there and everywhere and I often lose focus and to be completely honest... I get a little frustrated.  I get frustrated because my prayer time is special.  It's sacred.  I feel like I'm causing a bit of a barrier between myself and God when I lose focus during my prayer time and it breaks my heart.  

One way that I often pray... a way that always holds my focus and a way that I always feel His presence a little stronger... is through song.  Sometimes I sing and then there are other times when I just play music (on my iPhone or other musical device - I do not have instrumental talent as badly as I would LOVE to have it!) and listen for Him and just be in His presence.  The music calms my thoughts and helps me to focus.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been praying more specifically and intentionally for The Holy Spirit and the peace that He provides (not just for Tyler and me in our adoption journey, but in other areas of our lives and for other family, friends, and people that God has placed in our path).  One song that has been a great part of my prayer time has been "Holy Spirit" by Jesus Culture.  Francesca Battistelli also sings it.  The lyrics are as follows (More of my blog post follows the song.):

Verse 1:

There's nothing worth more

That could ever comes close

Nothing can compare

You're our living Hope

And my shame is undone

Your presence Lord

Verse 2:

I've tasted and seen

Of the sweetest of love

When my heart becomes free

Your presence Lord

Chorus:

Holy Spirit You are welcome here

Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere

Your glory God is what our hearts long for

To be overcome by Your presence Lord.

Bridge:

Let us become more aware of Your presence

Let us experience the glory of Your goodness

*Chorus*

I know that The Holy Spirit has been with me from the very beginning of this adoption journey.  I know this to be absolute!  I know this because the fruits of The Spirit (The Holy Spirit) are love, joy, PEACE, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, FAITHFULNESS, gentleness, and self-control.  I am not naturally a patient person.  I am NOT good at waiting for something that my heart desires.  In the case of our adoption, I have never had a greater earthly desire than to be a mother!  It is not in my nature to have PEACE about PATIENTLY waiting for that... but I DO!  I have such a PEACE that I know that ONLY The Holy Spirit can give!  That peace makes it so much easier to be patient and faithful as well.  I can't truthfully sit here and say that every day is so easy to wait... because it most definitely is NOT... but I have a peace in knowing that "in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him (and we most certainly do!), and who have been called according to His purpose (and we feel like we have been)."  


He also calms those annoying "popcorn popper thoughts" and helps me to focus!  

Oh, how I love Him!  :0)