We've Got Mail!

I typically don't love to check the mail.  As a matter of fact, I usually leave this chore for Tyler.  There's just rarely anything fun in there... mostly bills and such... and who wants those???  Not this girl!  LOL!

Lately, that has changed!  I have been checking the mail!  When I was still out of school for the summer, I will even admit that I was basically stalking the mail carrier even!  I have been anxiously awaiting our appointments from the Department of Homeland Security (USCIS - United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) for our fingerprinting!

After my BIG MISTAKE of not sending our home study with our I-600a application, I wasn't sure how long it would be before we got our appointments.  I was actually going to call today to find out if they received our home study and to make sure it got matched with our application.  Thankfully, I check the mail first before I called!!  Much to my surprise...

WE GOT OUR APPOINTMENTS TODAY!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

Thank you all SO MUCH for all of the prayers!!  This is a pretty big step in the right direction!  

HE'S GOT THIS!

If you read my blog post from yesterday, you could probably sense that I was a little stressed.  Ok, I was a LOT stressed!  I was just so frustrated with myself for missing something that seemed so big that was right in front of my face!  When I pulled the copies of our home study out of the envelope today, there was a BIG, YELLOW post-it note on the TOP copy of the home studies that said, "Send this copy with your I-600a to USCIS."  REALLY?!?!?!  I still cannot believe that I missed this when I am trying SO HARD to be organized (And I have to WORK REALLY HARD AT BEING ORGANIZED!  It does NOT COME NATURALLY!) through all of this!

I went to FedEx this afternoon after school to send our home study to The Department of Homeland Security to be matched with our I-600a application.  As I got in my car, I looked up and noticed this beautiful gift...

It was a much needed reminder from God saying, "Hey Leslie, I've got this!  I promise!"  It was a reminder and a promise that I needed so much today!  

I am typically a REALLY laid back girl, but I have been trying so hard to be a "list person" and to be organized and all these things that I am really not that I'm becoming so uptight... and I don't like it!

So... I'm forgiving myself!  I'm letting go of the control (that I'm really not good at having anyway) and I'm giving it back to God!  HE'S GOT THIS!!!  

OH, HOW THANKFUL I AM!!

HE'S GOT THIS!!!

Making Mistakes...

So, we've been waiting for our fingerprinting appointment from the USCIS (United States Citizenship & Immigration Services) after submitting our I-600a (That's the Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition.) form July 11.  We got a receipt from them July 16 that said that they had received our application and payment (which had already gone through the bank and been processed) and it also said that we needed to be looking for our fingerprinting appointment in the next 10-14 days.

We have waited...

And waited...

And those 10-14 days have passed so I called USCIS.  I called yesterday after school and was on hold for over an hour.  I couldn't leave school until 5 and they close at 6, so I hung up at 6:15 when I still hadn't spoken to anyone.

I called again today and spoke to someone.  I didn't hear the news I wanted, but I sure am glad that I called!  The conversation went a little something like this...

USCIS Lady: "Did you include your home study with your application?"

Me: "No.  Was I supposed to include our home study with our application?"

USCIS Lady: "Did an agency help you with this?"

Me:  "Yes, we were given very specific directions - that I read SEVERAL TIMES.  I really don't remember it saying anything about including our home study with the application, but I suppose I could have overlooked it.  I don't think I did because I REALLY read those directions OVER AND OVER AND OVER again so I wouldn't jeopardize anything in this process... but... I'm sure I could have made a big mistake..."

(I was having a TERRIBLE time holding in the tears at this point!  Those of you who know me well, I'm sure can imagine how fast I was talking too at this point!)

USCIS Lady: "You need to go the the USCIS website and download the directions there.  On your receipt, does it say that you missing your home study?"

Me:  "No, it doesn't say it anywhere."

(She was actually very nice and I was managing to remain calm - amazingly - and I was using a nice tone as well.)

USCIS Lady:  "Hmmm... They must have changed the form.  Well, it SHOULD say that.  I suppose it is good that you called.  Otherwise, your application would sit on a shelf for a year and then it would just get thrown away without your home study."

Me:  "I just want to cry right now."

USCIS Lady:  "Oh, there's no reason to cry.  This really isn't that big of a deal."

I just wanted to SCREAM!!  WHAT?!?!?!  NOT A BIG DEAL?!?!?!?  It's JUST MY BABY!!!!!  I managed to keep that on the inside, though, and she told me how to send in our home study and get it matched with our application.

When I got home, I immediately went to find those directions for filling out that form!  Guess what I found...

Does anyone else see it???

YEP!!  Beside the 4., it tells what to send.  It includes payment, documents, and HOME STUDY!!!!  How did I miss that?!?!?!?!  I can not tell you how many times I read this!!!  I have been so careful NOT to miss ANY DETAIL in this process because I have been so scared that I would jeopardize some crucial step in bringing our baby home!  It's no secret that organization and paperwork are not strengths of mine.  That's why I have been SO CAREFUL!  I just don't know how I missed it!

It really ISN'T the end of the world!  I know it isn't!  The nice lady at USCIS (She REALLY was VERY NICE!) told me how to fix this (and it really is very fixable)!  I am just so disappointed in myself for making such a careless mistake.  

I suppose I need to remember...

Oh, how I am TRYING!!  

Good thing I've got God, a ROCK of a husband, and an unbelievable village of family and friends to help me up when I fall!!

Counting Sheep...

I have counted sheep, cows, ducks, pigs... you name it!  I can't sleep!  It's driving me CRAZY!  There's definitely not a lack of desire.  That is certain.  I'm not sure that anyone loves sleep more than I do!  I just can't seem to get any!  This has been an ongoing problem all summer long.  I'll be honest.  I get my days and nights mixed up every summer (I'm pretty sure that I was meant to be nocturnal. HA! HA!), but I'm not sleeping well during the day either.  I have had more headaches this summer than I have had in quite some time and I have developed these beautiful (insert sarcasm) dark bags under my eyes because I just can't seem to get any good sleep.

The reason that I can't sleep is because...

I can't stop thinking about my baby.  That may sound SO CRAZY because we haven't even been matched with our child yet, but it is true.  I am constantly thinking and praying about my baby and his or her birth parents.  I am constantly wondering about him or her.

Is his or her birth mother still pregnant or has my baby already been born?  Could today be the day that my baby is born?  Could TODAY be my kid's birthday?  Are the birth parents scared?  How old are my baby's birth parents?  Is the birth mother all alone?  Does she have any support at all?  Is she a Christian?  What made her choose adoption over abortion in a country where abortion is so common?  OH, HOW THANKFUL I AM THAT SHE DID!!!

These questions and SO MANY MORE play over and over and over in my head every single night (and day).  I can only speak for myself, but I would imagine that most adoptive moms have similar questions that they think about often as well.  Although it may seem that way, these questions are not a product of worry.  They are simply a product of wonder and longing to know as much as I can about my child.  God has provided me with such a comfort and peace about this whole process.  I am praying that doesn't change!

I am going to TRY MY VERY BEST to get some sleep now!  Maybe I will try something new and count Zebras tonight/this morning! ;0)  I better figure something out pretty fast since school starts this week!!