Counting Sheep...

I have counted sheep, cows, ducks, pigs... you name it!  I can't sleep!  It's driving me CRAZY!  There's definitely not a lack of desire.  That is certain.  I'm not sure that anyone loves sleep more than I do!  I just can't seem to get any!  This has been an ongoing problem all summer long.  I'll be honest.  I get my days and nights mixed up every summer (I'm pretty sure that I was meant to be nocturnal. HA! HA!), but I'm not sleeping well during the day either.  I have had more headaches this summer than I have had in quite some time and I have developed these beautiful (insert sarcasm) dark bags under my eyes because I just can't seem to get any good sleep.

The reason that I can't sleep is because...

I can't stop thinking about my baby.  That may sound SO CRAZY because we haven't even been matched with our child yet, but it is true.  I am constantly thinking and praying about my baby and his or her birth parents.  I am constantly wondering about him or her.

Is his or her birth mother still pregnant or has my baby already been born?  Could today be the day that my baby is born?  Could TODAY be my kid's birthday?  Are the birth parents scared?  How old are my baby's birth parents?  Is the birth mother all alone?  Does she have any support at all?  Is she a Christian?  What made her choose adoption over abortion in a country where abortion is so common?  OH, HOW THANKFUL I AM THAT SHE DID!!!

These questions and SO MANY MORE play over and over and over in my head every single night (and day).  I can only speak for myself, but I would imagine that most adoptive moms have similar questions that they think about often as well.  Although it may seem that way, these questions are not a product of worry.  They are simply a product of wonder and longing to know as much as I can about my child.  God has provided me with such a comfort and peace about this whole process.  I am praying that doesn't change!

I am going to TRY MY VERY BEST to get some sleep now!  Maybe I will try something new and count Zebras tonight/this morning! ;0)  I better figure something out pretty fast since school starts this week!!